If I stay
by Jaymamamzing1
Summary: If she stays she'd lose Alex, but if she leaves, she'd forget everything she believed for so long. Alex/Lena fic


Okay so this is my first non jayma/Will's or will/ Emma fanfic. But I love this book and a friendwho also loves the delirium trilogy *wink* you might be reading this, asked me to and here it is!

* * *

Lena's POV

I haven't realized till now that over the summer, I began to think of 37 brooks as home. I Hitch my bag a little higher and I run to the gate. It looks like how we left it yesterday, I walk inside to find out that Alex isn't there.

I was scared, he was always here on time. Maybe I'm too early, or maybe I'm late. He emerges from the darkness from my left side and I gasp in joy.

"Alex!" I shout, I run to him.

"Shhh." His arms wrap around me and I look up at him, confused as to why he wanted me to keep quiet. "We're not safe yet." He kisses the tip of my nose.

"Not yet but almost." I grin as we sit down at our usual spot. "Just four more days and I'll be with you."

It was his turn to look at me with confusion. "But you're already with me." he says.

"Freely, I mean."

He smiles but his smile isn't the smile the usual Alex would give to me. He tilts my chin up. I look into his eyes and there's so much love and passion, I turn away cause even if we've been together for more than a month I still can't get used to the feeling of being loved cause before Alex, the closest thing I had to love was me and running. And I'm telling you I love Alex so much more than running.

He brings my face back to look at him and finally he speaks up, "Are you sure about crossing with me?" he asks.

I was surprised by his question, but nonetheless I answer him, "Yes of course I'm sure." I try to keep my voice low but I couldn't control myself, Alex puts a hand over my mouth.

"Okay, I just wanted to be sure." he tells me. "but I'm telling you Alex, when we go there, there's no going back, you'll never see Hana nor your Aunt Carol." he adds.

"I don't care about Aunt Carol, I asked Hana if she wanted to come but she said no." I bite my lower lip.

"Oh, but Lena, it's not just that, in the Wilds, people aren't as kind as those here in Portland, they say nasty words, they steal, there are days when we have to eat close to nothing just to stock up for the winter. It's a mess there and honestly, I'm afraid you'll not like it there." he says those words as if he was scarred.

"Why would I not like it there? Yes, I get that there would be budgets, times when we have to eat edible yet not so great food but I would be free to love whoever I want to love. And that's you Alex." I tell him. "You know what would happen if I stay here right? I'd be cured and you'd be nothing but a distant memory. And I don't want that." I tell him.

He's happy I said that. He's grinning now and he's tilting my chin up and leaning in for a kiss. Our lips move in sync with one another, something I thought would never happen the first time I laid eyes on him.

He pulls away and tucks my hair back my ear. "You're so beautiful, Magdalena Haloway."

"I love you Alex."

"I love you too Lena." he smiles.

Xx

Hana invites me to spend the day in her house, I agreed knowing Alex had to take care of some business before we leave in three days. I'll see him after midnight anyway.

I ride my bicycle to Hana's place, the door is unlocked so I just let myself in, knowing her parents are in work at this time of the day. I go up to her room and I open the door to see her laying in bed, headphones on.

"Hana!" I shout and she stands up immediately.

"I'm going to miss you." she says putting her arm over my shoulder as she leads us to sit on her bed. We have never hugged, that's not normal in Portland.

"I'm going to miss you too, but you can come with us Hana."

"I-I can't,"

And she's right, I know Hana, she may look like the bad ass from the two of us but honestly, her life is perfect. She's going to be paired with a guy whose family is as wealthy as hers, she could have everything she wants cause her parents are powerful. Leaving her life here would be a huge mistake.

"You're my best friend Lena Haloway."

"And you're mine-" I love you, I wanted to say, but I couldn't. She would freak out. Hana sighs.

"Why do you have to leave?"

"Cause if I stay, I would lose Alex."

"But if you leave you'd never seee me again." she says, looking down.

"Hana..." I tell her, I bite my lip and I look down. She's disapppointed.

_I love you, remember, they can not take it._

I rememberethat's line again. And no matter what happens, Hana will always be my best friend. They can't take those memories away.


End file.
